Sometimes I’m a little horrified by my own thoughts. I’ll think something or say something completely selfish or unkind. I may catch myself at the time and repent, or it may be much later that I feel the conviction of what I did. I wonder like David, Lord, what is man, that You take knowledge of him? Or the son of man, that You are mindful of him? (Ps 144:3) I am so imperfect, how can You love me, let alone let me live?
The enemy loves to get us into those cesspools of discouragement and deprecation. The more we look at our faults and failures, the further we pull away from God’s grace and mercy.
I’m always comforted by remembering that God is not surprised by my humanity. He made me. He knows what I can do and what I cannot do. He knows when I fail and He always loves me. Always. There will never be anything that will prevent Him from loving me. I may grieve Him, but He will never stop loving me.
I love that His plan for my destiny includes all my missteps along the way. My journey to where I am today was not a surprise to Him. He saw it all and planned every step to help me. Some steps I took with Him, many I did not. I know I’ll fall down even more on the path going forward, but He knows that. He can take every mistake and make a miracle. I’m still looking through the glass darkly, and He knows that.