Sometimes I am my own worst enemy. I have learned to sabotage myself so well that I don’t even know I’m doing it until my body screams at me to get my attention. But why? I trust God. I do. I believe that He has all the answers that I need. Sometimes I run into a decision that causes a knee jerk reaction to panic, but on a level so deep I don’t recognize it. On the surface, I say I’m trusting God, but deep down, tension is building because I am trying to work it all out on my own. Not until my head explodes do I see what is going on. I’m so sorry. I repent for my lack of faith, for not really listening to what God is trying to tell me. And guess what? When I do stop and listen, He actually does have the answer I was looking for. So why, why do I put myself through that? Partly because we have an enemy that excels at warfare, and partly because I am still growing in faith. It will get better. I will trust Him more and have fewer headaches. Thank you God for your patience with me.