Every so often we’re given a glimpse of ourselves that we’d rather not see. We see our darker side, the side we don’t like to admit that we have. Some people show that darker side a lot more often than they realize.
When I see that in myself, I cringe and make declarations that I will change. And for a while, I make great efforts to be better than I am. But it never lasts. Slowly, I will go back to old patterns or just be too lazy to keep trying to be better.
The reality is that I can never change myself to be truly better than I am. That’s called trying to create my own righteousness and only God can make me righteous.
I am made a better person by pursuing God, by desiring His presence and hearing His voice. As I get close to Him, He changes me. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. (2Cor 3:18)
Little by little, glory to glory, He changes me. My righteousness becomes His righteousness. Soon, I am filled with His goodness. I react with kindness when I’m rushed, hurting, or busy. I’m caught doing good even when I’m not looking.
There are still unsavory qualities inside, I know that. But so does God and He still loves me. He knows that it’s a process, so I’m not disappointing Him at all. Every day that I pursue Him, He draws me deeper into His glory and I am changed. His refining fire makes me glad.