I recently had an experience that brought to light an ugly spirit in me. That thing rose up and dominated my thoughts and attitude like it owned the place. Fortunately, I stopped myself from saying anything terrible to anyone, but it was work. I wanted to react in kindness, and I did manage to some degree, but it was a great struggle to do it. How can that be? Why do I still have such ugly attitudes when all I want is to be Christ-like?
I guess the answer is because I’m human. I have been asking God to cleanse me from the bad stuff I know is in me, so He showed me something to deal with. I repented and asked forgiveness. Then He showed me times from long ago when I reacted with the same ugly response. I repented for those times too. I asked for more peace, patience, kindness, goodness, love, and joy. I choose to put on the mind of Christ. I choose to be holy as He is holy. I asked Him to show me more wrong attitudes in me to clean out. The more ugly He shows me, the more I can repent and truly be Christ-like. There’s nothing pretty about polishing the outside when there’s ugly on the inside.