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Holding on to Hope

Dear God,

Discipline is a good thing. When I feel down, I know to still rejoice. When I am sad or depressed, I can still be thankful. Regardless of  how I feel, I know you are true. I know that your promises are the wonder of the universe. How could I ever doubt that? So I am always grateful, even when the waiting brings sadness. Smiling through tears, as my old voice teacher used to say. Yes, I am grateful. There is no hope without you. In you, there is more than hope, there is joy today. There is being sheltered under your wings. There will be no need for that in heaven. Today we need your shelter, your grace, and so much more. Draw me into the more. We know so little. Show me a glimpse of  the more. I have no idea what’s behind the curtain, but I will press in regardless. You are my life, my breath, my hope. Thank you for help when I need it. Help that will train me to be better at the things I need to do. I just want more of you. I want to hide in you and only come out when all the world is new and safe. Ok, I’ll be who you want me to be because I can trust in you like no other. Thank you for everything. Thank you for everything you do for me, for loving me completely.

The Joy Of God Rises Up!

the joy of the Lord

Let the joy of the Lord out!

Let the joy of the Lord rise among us. Lord, this is your plan for life. It’s always been – to have a people who love and trust in you, so your joy can rise. It’s a great plan. I like it. Let your joy rise in me. Rise in my house, my city, my nation. There is healing in your joy.

There is wisdom and grace. There is life. Your joy is a dimension we have not yet discovered in ourselves. It’s in us, in our spirits. You put it there when you breathed life into Adam. It lies waiting for the sound of Your voice to rise up. Deep calls unto deep. Let the joy rise.

Teach my spirit to enjoy the joy you’ve given me. Let me give myself to it and give it freedom in my life. How can I respond to life in arrogance if your joy sings in my soul? No matter what happens, no matter what tragedy, let your joy always be my guide. I will follow your joy and sing with you and you will guard my heart and my thoughts.

Be our God and rise among us. We need you. Let joy flow like falling drops of water in the fountain of life. I love your joy. It brings clarity and revelation when we embrace it. You said make a joyful noise all the earth. I want to hear that. I want to hear the earth respond to you in joy. I can’t imagine the sound of that. I”m sure it wouldn’t sound as heavenly as we think it would. I think it would sound like joyful noise. Rise up in me. I’ll make some noise.

Another post on carrying joy: Kingdom People Carry Joy

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Letter To My God

God has a plan for each of us

God has a plan and is waiting to help

Dear God,

I know I just talked to you, but I need to come back again. God, there’s so much to cringe about in the world- floods, joblessness, hopelessness. People are trying to find answers when they don’t really know what the questions are. We need help. We need to know that our lives count, that we matter, just as much as other people who seem to have it all. What will happen when the money runs out? Who will take care of us? How do we deal with cancer and diabetes? How do we deal with loneliness and isolation?

It’s a lot to think about. It can look scary. Really scary. But that’s why I wanted to talk to you. I know you’ve got a plan. For all the issues, all the problems, you have a plan. You have a way to take away all the fear. You can restore what’s been lost and build what’s been torn down. You can make the new better than the old.

The thing is, we’re not good at listening to you. We like to think that we don’t need you. We want to be in control, despite the mess we live in. Silly isn’t it! Help us to see that when we act like stubborn children who won’t let mom help, we have to live with our own decisions. Help us to see that you are close, that all you’re waiting for is for us to ask. So easy. So simple.

I like that you have a plan. Thanks for that. I know that your plan is way better than mine. So much better than mine. Help us, as a community, as a country, to see that you know how to bring food to the table and health to our bodies. You are so much bigger than the issues that hurt us and worry us. I give it all to you. I know I still have responsibilities, but I will listen to you and do what you say. I’ve been pretty happy so far.

Another post on God’s plan for us: I’ve Been Set Apart. Have You?

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Love God With Everything You’ve Got

With all our heart, soul, strength, and mind.

Love God with everything we’ve got.

Then one of the scribes . . . asked Him, “Which is the first commandment of all?” Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear O Israel, the Lord your God is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ ” (Mk 12:28)

I’ve been a Christian for years and years and years. I thought that meant that I loved God with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind and all my strength. I believed Him. I loved Him. But I was wrong.

Knowledge of and passion for are two different things. God showed me very clearly that I did not love Him totally, passionately. In fact, there was nothing in my life that I was passionate about. Nothing. There were things that I liked, even loved, but nothing that burned with passion inside me. I was all words, no fire.

I became ashamed of my faith because it was weak and valueless. I asked God to forgive me. I confessed the sin of my self-indulgence and arrogance. I shook off the platitudes of pretense and lay before Him stripped of my self-assurance. He gave me back a heart full of blessing and hope.

I tell Him everyday that I love Him with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind and all my strength. He can have all my dreams and hopes. There is nothing I love or want more than Him. He is my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength. And the more I love Him, the more He shows His love for me. I lose nothing and I gain all of heaven. And He still chooses to give me the desires of my heart. He makes my dreams come true.

Related Post: Everlasting Love

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The Play’s The Thing

My future daughter-in-law is visiting while she and my son make wedding plans and try to find an apartment. In between their running to and from appointments, she finds time to do her Shakespeare homework for school. She showed me her five-pound Complete Shakespeare that she lugged out with her from Michigan and I pulled out my beat up five-pound copy to compare. Mine has definitely seen better days.

Makes me think back to my young days when I first saw Romeo and Juliet, the Zeffirelli version. I was twelve. My friends and I sat through multiple showings because we were trying to see Romeo’s butt when he got out of bed. I was scandalized that he would really be naked under those sheets. But unlike my friends, that movie ushered me into a lifelong love of Shakespeare. I bought the paperback version of Romeo and Juliet and quoted the balcony scene for weeks. After that, I read all the comedies and several of the histories. I’ve never been a big fan of the tragedies, with one exception. Hamlet is my all time favorite play, with Cyrano de Bergerac a close second, even if it’s not one of the Bard’s.

Hamlet is perfect. He’s the perfect character and the play is perfect in construction. When my son was in middle school, he wanted to enter a school talent contest. He was thinking of quoting a poem, but I upped the ante and pulled out Hamlet’s soliloquy. Once we worked our way through it so he understood what was going on, he tore it up on stage. He said it better than anyone I’ve heard, and yes that’s Mom talking, but also a true Hamlet fan talking. I’ll pass on discussing my own lame version of Ophelia that I played at a Shakespeare festival. The poor girl suffered enough.

There’s just something wonderful about the wit and language of these plays, and sonnets. I find a lot of performances insufferably cute or horribly pretentious. So much so that I’m afraid to spend the money to see them. Best really to sit quietly and read them while the scenes play out in your head, try as you might to think of someone else besides Gweneth Paltrow playing Portia or Helena.

Shakespeare was the Michelangelo of wordsmithing. I almost wish he had also written prose. His language sweeps from coarse to sublime effortlessly. If novels more popular in his time, he would have, no doubt, written classics, though I suppose that he had a real love for the stage. It’s just amazing that the greatness of his writing continues to carry on. Just goes to show that excellence lives long after mediocre is forgotten.

My Century Cup

 My grandmother was born a hundred years ago today. I know that because I vaguely remember her birthday, but really because I have her baby cup. It’s a very cool looking cup. The  base of the cup has six point to it so it flares out at the bottom. The engraving says, “Evelyn March 11, 1911 From Uncle Charles”. From what I remember, Uncle Charles was the rich uncle from New York who send expensive gifts.

The tradition in our family was that when babies were born, a silver cup was given to them with their name engraved. I think in my generation, it was my grandparents who bought the cups. When I was about eleven or twelve, it dawned on me that my other siblings had baby cups, but I didn’t. When I brought it up, no one believed me. There was a lot of discussion for a while until they realized that somehow, the cup was forgotten when I was born. 

That’s when my grandmother offered to give me hers. When she found it, it was dark and tarnished and there was a hole at the top where the handle had been broken. She polished it up and had it repaired. You can see the welding on the inside.

So I don’t have a baby cup with my name on it, but  I have something better. We were very close to my grandparents as kids so it was tragic to see my grandmother slip into dementia in her old age. She loved her fancy holiday dinners and I was always paid fifty cents to polish the silver, sometimes I got a candy bar. Invariably, she would have me crack walnuts and stuff them in to dates and roll them in powdered sugar for special appetiser. And when I was a real pain while she was babysitting, I was sent outside to pick violets along the side of the house so she could have some peace and quite. I never felt like I could get away with anything at grandma’s house because I was convinced that her two Siamese cats, Ying and Yang, who always watched passively, would tattle on me.

It seems like such a long time ago. I’m happy and a little sad to remember my grandmother, born a hundred years ago today. Gone, but not forgotten.

I Hear Daffodils Outside

I don’t need to look at the calendar to see that Spring has sprung around here. The daffodils announce that all by themselves. It’s not hard to see how early cultures looked around at the environment to understand how it all started. The wolf and snake have unique characteristics that fit into stories of creation, turtles that support the earth, etc.

I can easily think of the earth having an inner child that lives through a cycle. In the Spring, he jumps up to play and brings out all the flowers in his exuberance. In the Summer, he roams around in lazy pleasure through trees and meadows. In the Fall, he starts getting tired and sits to watch the  fields turn yellow and the pumpkins ripen. In the Winter, he just can’t keep his eyes open any more and tucks in for a sleep, taking all the green and warm with him.

Our word for Spring comes from the Old English meaning to literally spring. Makes sense doesn’t it? We go from cold and leafless to sudden blossom in the blink of an eye. Spring leaps out as if the daffodils trumpet the change to wake up the earth child to come out and play.

But, of course, I understand that we live on a planet, perfectly sized and situated in our solar system to allow for an atmosphere and rotation that makes Spring happen. We have a protector planet called Jupiter that’s big enough to absorb errant collisions from blowing us apart. We have enough biodiversity to sustain life, despite our effort to progress. And I don’t think it’s all a happy coincidence of location and evolution. I’m absolutely firm in my belief that we have a God who happens to know a lot about physics and biology. I’ll take His intelligently designed Spring over randomness any day. It’s just so pretty.

The Ethical Traveler

So here’s my current project. In between plotting and character development for my novel, I’m writing grant proposals for Ethical Traveler, www.ethicaltraveler.org. It’s an interesting organization. The travel industry rakes in billions and billions of dollars from airlines, hotels, restaurants, and t-shirts. Most destination countries rely on all that money to support their economies. It’s unfortunate that many of those countries also have questionable practices in the areas of environmental protection, human rights, and social welfare. They kind of get away with doing what ever they want, and they still get tourists to give them money. What if the tourists stop coming?

Here’s where Ethical Traveler comes in. Every year they put out a Top 10 list of the World’s Best Ethical Destinations. This is a list of countries that are great to visit and have made serious improvement in the areas of environmental protection and human rights and social welfare. For example:

  • Palau, which declared its waters a dolphin, shark and whale sanctuary, rescinded support for Japanese “scientific” whaling, and called for an international moratorium on shark finning.
  • Costa Rica returned to the list, after falling off last year, due to increased efforts by recently elected president Laura Chinchilla to address human trafficking problems.
  • Quantifying social welfare improvements are not as straightforward, but issues such as access to safe drinking water, sustainable water management, responsible sanitation practices, and agricultural management are carefully noted.

Taking our tourism dollars to countries working hard to improve the quality of life for their people and the environment affirms their good work. That sends a message to countries that don’t. It’s a passive-agressive way of telling some countries we won’t support your sex trade or toxic waste dumping.

To be honest, I never thought about how my travel affected the countries I visit. Do the few dollars I spend on a meal really make that much difference? Added to the billions of other dollars spent on food and travel, yes, I guess it does. Will I think twice next time I plan to travel overseas? Youbetcha. But what if I have a reason to go to one of those countries that didn’t make the Top 10 list? I would still go. It’s when I have a choice in a destination that I would consider where I want my dollars to vote. Think about it. There’s a whole lot of world to see. Why not check out the places doing good?

Sprouting Idea Seeds For Fun and Profit!

I’m reading a book I picked up at BEA a few years ago called The Mind of Your Story, discover what drives your fiction, by Lisa Lenard-Cook. She talks a lot about the left brain, right brain thing. Apparently, I get which one is which mixed up all the time, but I do get that one side leads in analytic thinking and the other in creativity.

She talks about taking individual story ideas and putting them together with other story ideas. Maybe you think about a hurricane hitting a small seacoast town. Later on you think about a baby that’s born without legs. And then you something makes you think about aliens landing to learn about our culture. You might put those three story seeds together and write about a woman giving birth during a hurricane and being rescued by compassionate aliens. Hmm, that might be fun to write!

One of her examples was about visiting some elderly friends who both had Alzheimer’s. She went on to describe how she put that story together with two other story seeds, but I was stuck on the two friends with Alzheimer’s. My grandmother had that so I remembered what it was like in the nursing home, seeing her in her wheelchair, lost to the world. She couldn’t, or wouldn’t talk much, and when she did, it wasn’t really her. But two friends with the same illness in the same nursing home made me think of a story idea. What if the two of them could communicate to each other? What if there were lively conversations between them that no one else could see? It could be both sweet and painful.

I’m not very good at writing down tidbits of ideas that I get, but I’m going to start doing that. They may not turn into full-length books, but maybe short stories. Or maybe there is a breakout novel in those germ seeds. That’s the fun part of being a writer. It’s ok to let your imagination run away with you. If you don’t, your stories can be stilted. The three seed idea is intriguing too. Sounds like an interesting way to come up with ideas if you’re stuck.

What do you do to come up with ideas?

Time Marches On, And Changes Everything!

One hundred and sixty-five years ago, 87 people took off in a wagon train to find milk and honey in California. Only 48 of those people survived to find it. The base of the monument in this photo is 20 feet high. That’s how high the snow piled up that year. The worst storm in a hundred years. Bad decisions. Bad timing. Bad luck. What a horrendous ordeal to live through. Aside from the monument and artifacts, there’s nothing left to show for it, only memories of people now long dead. It’s just a fact that people live and die everyday–millions, and we don’t know anything about who they were or what they did. If they are famous we hear about them. If not, only those close to them will remember. I’m so sorry that the people in the Donner party had to suffer what they did, but at least we know something about them. Their lives are remembered, however infamously.

Fifty year ago, I lived on Donner Summit in a tiny town called Norden. That’s why I feel for the history of the place. My father was railroad man and we lived in a row of houses close to the railroad tracks and the train station. All the front doors of the houses were connected to a long hallway that ran up the hill to a central parking area. In the winter time we would have been snowed in if not for that hallway that led up to where snow plows cleared an opening. The snow-covered the houses and we could climb over the roofs, but were forbidden to because the power lines were so close. I have fond memories of building snowmen and snow caves with my siblings and friends. We took skiing lessons at the nearby Sugar Bowl ski resort. I was so sad to move and leave my beautiful blue skis behind for the next family who would use them.

Today, nothing remains of those houses we lived in at Norden, they’ve all been torn down. There’s nothing left, only new concrete tunnels for the trains to travel through unhindered. I visited the Sugar Bowl resort a few years ago and found an oldtimer who remembered some of the people I could name. He said we were called the Mole People because we traveled through the tunnels to get in and out in the winter. (In the summer we could park directly in front of our house.) If not for his memories and ours, it would be as if our little community in Norden never existed. Interstate 80 rushes over the mountains carrying people into a present day far removed from the Donner Party or the Mole People.

I often think about posterity. Maybe that’s why I write. I don’t like to think about someone’s life ending and not being remembered. Everyone has a story. Everyone. I encourage memoir writers. Sometimes they’re the only ones who still remember, and when they are gone, some lives are lost forever. You should think about that. Your grandchildren will thank you.